Growing

Hello, my lovely friends!

I miss you all, but we had a great week here!

This week was a good week of discovery for me. Let me explain:

So, last month, I had exchanges with our STL’s. It did not go as well as I had hoped. I felt the entire time I had to prove myself. I felt self-conscious and insecure about my teaching abilities and my Tagalog… I was worried that the STL’s would not like how I taught or the way that I did missionary work. To add to my distress, all the Tagalog I had worked so hard at seemed to disappear.

So, after that wonderful experience, I was less than excited about our exchanges this week. But as I went into my exchanges (it still felt like I was on proving grounds a little), I decided to be confident in who I was as a missionary. I have come to realize that each missionary is different (duh). Each missionary has a different way of planning, of finding, of teaching, of extending invitations, of everything... Each missionary is called of God and God trusts each of us. All our talents are different for a reason! 

Anyway, I went into my exchanges with this perspective, and it felt a lot easier. It was easier to open my mouth and find people, to teach lessons, and to trust myself. As I trusted myself and my abilities as a missionary, I saw the hard work I had put in. My Tagalog flowed and I felt the spirit working with me.

It was a self-discovery moment about me being a good missionary. I mean, I know that I try my best every day, but there is always a critic in my head that says I need to try harder. That my Tagalog is not very good. That I should already be better. That I should never be homesick. That I should always be focused. But something my sister said to me this week was amazing. She said that we can only be better than our own average 50% of the time. Which means that we will be less than our average or expectations 50% of the time as well. While that might seem discouraging, it is not! It gave me a chance to give myself a break. It's okay if I am not perfect, and instead, I got to see my growth.

I ended up loving my exchanges and I grew in my confidence. I also got more chances to grow this week as well! Our Kabahay, Sister Gabriel, got to work with us all week, as her companion went to Manila for her visa. Sister Gabriel is a brand-new missionary, and it was so fun to work with her. As we helped her with leading the area, and answering her questions, it was good to reflect on myself as a trainee and to see how far I have come. Sister Gabriel is amazing. She will continue to flourish as a missionary!

This week was truly a fantastic self-discovery week! Not too many crazy things happened with the work. Between exchanges and working in the other Sister’s area here (for Sister Gabriel), we didn’t have as much time to work as normal in our area, but it was a good week and I enjoyed it.

Our people are still doing great, and I love seeing them progress!

I am so excited to report that this upcoming week Sister Kathleen and Lieca are going to be baptized! They have their interview later tonight. Please pray for them that it goes well. They are absolutely amazing. I have been praying and waiting for them for a long time. It feels like a complete miracle that they are going to be baptized.

This upcoming week is also transfer week. The work is beautiful in Tumauini. I have now been in my first area for close to 7 months. There is a pretty good chance I will be transferred this cycle. But whatever happens, I am excited to keep growing and becoming the missionary God wants me to become.

For my spiritual thought, I want to share apart from President Nelson’s talk “Think Celestial” In it, he says:

“When you make choices, I invite you to take the long view—an eternal view. Put Jesus Christ first because your eternal life is dependent upon your faith in Him and in His Atonement. It is also dependent upon your obedience to His laws. Obedience paves the way for a joyful life for you today and a grand, eternal reward tomorrow.”

I really like this talk. I think a lot of times we think about what would make us happy right this second. We focus on the here and now. But something President Nelson points out in his talk is the things that will make us happy in the eternities are the same things that will make us happy now. 

As we focus on Jesus Christ and His atonement, we find true joy. We are blessed beyond measure (see Mosiah 2:41). God is waiting to pour out the blessings of heaven on us. We just need to follow His commandments. I challenge each of you to “try” God. If you are struggling, or maybe there’s a commandment you don’t quite understand, try following it this week and see what happens. It can be as small as reading the Book of Mormon every day, praying every day, or even attending the temple. Whatever you decide to do, focus on the difference it makes in your life this week. And if you don’t see a huge difference this week, continue into next week! Some blessings come soon, some blessings come late, but they always come. God loves us all sooooo much. I testify that as we choose to keep His commandments, we will develop the faith that we need to survive this world and find joy.

I love you all! I hope you all have another great week!

The Church is true, God loves you,
Be happy, Be brave, Be smart,
Love,
Sister Miller